It is quite unfortunate and greatly disheartening the alarming rate at which relationships and marriages are breaking up all around us for reasons which I personally find most times baseless.
Couples are no longer willing to persevere and tolerate each other, but at the slightest challenge that is faced they are ready to throw in the towel not minding the effect of their actions on their loved ones especially their kids.
Tolerance and perseverance which are some of the key ingredients needed for successful relationships are gradually becoming non-existent as couples tend to prefer the easy way out.
“Intimate Talks with Oyin” is a platform designed to address issues and challenges we face in our relationships with a view to proffering solutions as we share and rub minds together on the different experiences we’ve all had.
I, “Oyin” as fondly called by my loved ones will be the captain of this soul searching voyage as we all share, correct and educate each other.
You are therefore invited to be a part of this exciting journey as we look forward to becoming better, confident and more loving individuals; it promises to be revelatory in every sense of the word!
Welcome to my World.
CALLED TO LOVE!!!
Listening to the popular song “WHEN SOMEBODY LOVES YOU BACK” by Teddy Pendergrass got me reflecting and I couldn’t help but wonder why some people find it difficult to express love or show affection in a relationship they have committed themselves to. Love is meant to be reciprocal for it to be truly enjoyed; anything short of this can be frustrating and devastating to the persons involved.
Personally, I find very intriguing/fascinating the relationship that exists between a man and a woman. How easily a woman expresses love to a man she adores, doting on him and making him the centre of her world. As for the man, the intensity of his affection towards his woman tends to reduce with time especially having been reassured that the woman is totally his, his attention moves on to other things and it’s like he no longer cares but deep within the reverse might be the case.
The truth is no matter how strong and understanding your woman is, she needs to be reassured of your love for her in a consistent manner. Agreed that men can be egoistic and sometimes allow this ego affect their relationships negatively, but you need to know that expressing love and affection to your woman is not a sign of weakness but of great strength. Ever wondered why the scriptures admonished “men to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands”. I guess it’s because even our Maker knows that men can find it difficult to express love.
Guys, it is paramount to know that being submissive or respectful doesn't mean she can't make her opinions known or that you can't take to her advise when necessary; it only means that irrespective of her opinion on any issue she is ready to follow your lead as the man because she trusts in your ability and strength as the man in the relationship. And getting to this point in our relationships lies in our hands. Remember "it definitely takes two to tango" and "respect is earned and not given."
Be a man of integrity and focus. Trust they say is like an Eraser, which gets smaller with each mistake we make. Endeavour to be a man of your words no matter the circumstance you might find yourself and whenever you find it difficult to fulfil your promises try as much as possible to carry your woman along so she will not assume what is not. Women love confident and focused men, a man who is a go-getter. As much as you can be a man of your words you will earn her confidence and respect this way.
Another important factor that cannot be over emphasized is the ability of a man to provide for his family. Recall, you are the head of the home and your wife is likened to the neck upon which the head rotates. A woman will certainly devote herself to a man that shows love, care and makes necessary provision for the home without having to rub it in at the slightest opportunity. Perform that which is your duty with all dignity and joy, she will gladly pray for God’s blessings and favour upon your life as you do this, which will in turn ensure that your business or work flourishes more than ever before.
Ever seen a woman scorned by her lover? I bet you don’t want to experience her venom as she becomes the total opposite of her usual docile and loving self. It is indeed true “Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned”. From a personal standpoint, a man should be able to understand his woman and how she functions. She is your better half and should be treated as such. You are called to love and cherish her. Doing this will definitely bring out the best in her and even when you have to admonish or correct her. Do this lovingly choosing your words carefully so as not to cause more harm than good. And peradventure you goofed in your words never hesitate to apologise wholeheartedly. She will definitely love you more for this.
Remember that as a man you have been CALLED TO LOVE. Your woman will find it easier to show you love and respect when she knows she’s well loved and appreciated. This will flow effortlessly as she will go about doing everything to ensure you are happy and glad you have her as your woman. Love is a two way street, do your part even if it seems she’s not doing hers; your labour of love will certainly not be in VAIN!!!
Lastly, bear in mind that God is the only One that has the ability to change people, peradventure you are doing all of the above and you are still not getting the love and respect you desire, take it to God in prayers and watch patiently as He will begin to mould her into the woman He has made her to be for you. Wishing you all the best as you shower your woman with all the love and care she deserves.
Catch yah next week.